Happy birthday, Joanna!!!!!!!Hope you had enjoyed a great birthday this year!!!

today wasn't a great day for me.. partly because of what happened to me yesterday.. my mood was like a fluctuation in the shares market today.. ups and downs and ups and downs again and again repeatedly.. hai~ anyway,what happened me that caused me so much misery? haha.. this is wad i wrote about yesterday while waiting for janice at aljunied today..

"i made him angry..my day was good.. i went back to the student care centre after my tuition and the kids missed me.. i miss them too.. all of them were like smiling to me,saying welcome back.. a sense of return.. a sense of belonging.. but i know i wont return back to the centre.. used to have some misunderstandings before.. so anyway,i wont be back loh.. yeah.. so just visit them... i am happy enough.. =D but i got his sms.. he made me feel so guilty so worried and i totally have no idea that my little action could case such a big harm to him.. [anyway,dun bother knowing who he is.. you noe,then erm,dun say la... u dunnoe,nvm..] people said i was worried coz i like him? do i? did i? having mixed feelings.. very confused.. but 1 thing i was almost absolutely confirmed was that i didnt like him from the start,but do treat him as a nice friend.. haha.. it's so irritating.. and it is bothering so much i cant concentrate.. every little things start to irritate me.. aRgh..

saw him and his family at ljs.. another him.. lena was excited.. i wasnt.. was pretty vexed by the previous event.. haha.. and i was surprised that there was no little butterflies in my stomach.. or wad.. mixed feelings again.. but this time round i cant understand it... do i still like him? i have totally no idea.. lena still does,i supposed.. i have totally no idea how to react when she time and time tells me that she likes him,and was so excited to see him.. frankly speaking,i was not comfortable with the fact that the both of us likes the same person.. and yet,she likes to tell me that.. she wasnt bothered by it.. and since she wasnt,i thought i would have been the same.. but sad to say,i was totally not ok about it.. just broke down on the train.. was crying without any noise.. i was alone.. tears just fell like that.. mind went blamk.. so many emotions at one point of time.. i just cant take it anymore..

i was different the last time i saw him at tm.. weird.. and that time both of us are also together there,being pretty excited.. haha.. and after that lena also met him a few more times.. i was envious.. but i didnt show.. i was thinking.. even if i do meet him,i wont go and say a "hi" to him.. not after what had happened ages ago..a nightmare.. he ignored me and i avoided him for almost 4+ years liao loh..

i just realised something.. it's been a long time since i last seen him smile..since perhaps sec 2? i miss his laughter and smile..

i miss him..

i do..."

that was my gan xiang when waiting for janice.. waited almost an hour.. until i cannt take it then i go toilet.. haha.. why mrt no toilet one? must leave the platform then got toilet.. hai~ waste my money.. sianz.. anyway,wasnt in a very pleased mood.. who would after waitin for like 1 hour for a person alone?? ok,i know there are worse cases.. i was just pretty worried that there is a long queue when we go RELC at orchard there to make payment for our examination fees, coz after paying my fees i had to rush to school.. but luckily there wasnt a long queue.. dunnoe if i was kan cheong or vexed or what.. i kept filling in the wrong thing.. super sianz.. anyway,headed to school after filling up the forms..

ate sandwiches.. went to find weilun as he was taking janice's disc of which we had bothered him to take from sinlay who had went home after her lessons.. haha.. then went to class.. thought sharon was not coming as she was seldom very late.. went through environmental global stuff.. which was very geography.. haha.. but i like.. haha.. at least better than the rest of the subjects.. hehe..

then after lessons, we headed to john's house to study.. intially wanted to study in school.. but john suggested his house so we went there loh.. think he super rich loh.. got BMW and stay in condominium which is only one of his house.. he got another house i supposed.. haha.. not so shou with him.. haha.. xiaojia more shou with him,coz she called him lao tou zi (which means husband).. haha.. anyway,xiaojia just wanted to mean that he is old.. wahaha.. and i think he is.. as he is pretty sensitive about age stuff.. he is 4 years older than me lei.. haha.. :X haha.. his house really very big.. bigger than my house x 2.. haha.. and it was big and scary.. if no car,then very hard to get in.. haha.. as well as hard to get out..

when studying was super quiet.. very scary at times.. so i listened to my mp3.. haha.. fear of disturbing the others who wanted to concentrate.. haha.. then john asked us to help ourselves.. and weilun just treated it as if it was his house.. guess he had been there a few times i supposed.. haha.. took potato chips.. then never offer us.. so mei you feng du.. haha.. and even self service take drinks.. haha.. i quite paiseh coz i dunnoe him that well loh.. just drink plain water.. haha.. then keep running to the toilet coz i quite hungry.. but shy to say.. haha.. so drink quite a lot of water..hehe..

then at around 7+ 8,we watched jie da huan xi.. haha.. and guess what? i bumped my head on to the wall while laughing.. then i said something stupid.. i said,"how cum your house wall so hard one? (in chinese)" lame? yeah.. i thought so too after i said that.. haha.. anyway,john was laughin until he cried and the excuse he gave for crying was that he was too tired and we made him laugh so hard that his tears dropped.. haha.. opps.. my fault.. :X

then was pretty worried coz i was at the west side and i lived in the east.. and it is not very possible that i studied in school all the way till 8+ havent reached home mah.. where got study so long one? anyway,wanted to take taxi home.. but no cash..then was asking if taxi driver accept nets..haha.. and so in the end,john drove us out and they all sent me home first as i was rushing to get home..then very nice leh,even send me up (1st time got people send me up..normally only until lift there..) haha.. a bit paiseh.. and they ate pratas at block 201 there.. so at least dun feel so bad.. hehe.. hai~ can't join them.. if not should be quite fun.. hehe.. anyway,mum didnt scold..was pretty surprised.. thought she will scold me like dunnoe wad..=X