*warning: this is a super long entry. read at your own risk*

the more you want something,the harder you get it.
this is from shu hui's nick.. haha.. scared it is copy-righted.. so must mention her name.. haha.. what is it that she couldn't get that makes her had her nick as that?? well her studies.. i am sure many times,this thought will appear in our mind.. why is it that i achieved/studied so much for it and yet i didn't get the returns/results to be what i expected??? is it true that the higher the risks/payment you put, the higher the returns??? are our returns always worth the effort we put in??? actually, sad to say, no.. very sian rite? then why the hell are we working so hard?? for the fulfillment? nah.. i doubt anyone can learn to enjoy studying.. that is only when there is no exams that we would enjoyed.. it is the thrist for knowledge that then we would have enjoyed.. ok,i dun even noe what i am saying now.. just that the more you want it, the further it will get away from you.. hai~~ whateva.. i dun bother to go and argue anymore,coz i am sure no matter what i said there is bound to be some one who disagree with me.. bleah.. but that is a good thing.. it actually means that there are people reading my blog.. wahaha.. i will never get what i wanted and all i got is something that i dun wan.. sad life..

ren wo ao you.
i am pretty sure many who are watching this show will say that yi ling (xiao qiao) is very jian to snatch jiajun (toro) from kai xin (fiona).. and did so many vicious things to kaixin (haha..she is a combi of kaijing and huixin..wahaha..) she didn't meant to.. she just wanted to get things that she wants.. but yet the harder she tries, the harder she gets to her aim.. i have a few questions to ask you guys.. perhaps you may disagree.. (but i am trying to defend her.. haha.. as well as myself.. wahaha)

qns: who is the one that caused her to act this way?
ans: jiajun. coz she is too in love with him le.. ok,wrong.. she fell too hard for him already..

qns: why is she acting this way?
ans: jiajun. she wants jiajun to be with him.. *put yourself into her shoes before cursing her* (*note: i might react the same way if i were in her shoes..wahaha..i am giving you guys a warning first )

qns: for whom is she behaving in this manner?
ans: jiajun. yeah and she wanted him too badly that caused her to do all these things to her best friend.. (*note: come to think of it, i might not do these to my best friends.. haha.. but perhaps to those who are not my best friends who snatch the one i like, beware..*evil laugh* anyway,i doubt i even have the courage to do what she did...wahaha...)

so you all can get the hint?

it is all you guys fault..jiajun never told her that he didnt like her in the first place.. and furthermore,he gives her the wrong impression by kissing her on the cheek on her birthday (though he is being saboed) and being so extra concerned when she is sick..(the massage thing) the point is: if you dun like a girl, dun be too super duper nice to her..she might misunderstand..explain it to her.. she will sure understand one.. haha.. but that is only applicable before she falls deep for you..

another thing..she is too popular (i wonder if she did it all for herself one..haha.. oh man i am so bad..) and so she thinks that all guys like her.. furthermore,she gets jealous easily even though jiajun doesnt belong to her,but she had this mentality that they are for each other because of the actions jiajun did.. and i supposed that is the weak point of many people,yesh and guys, that includes you too.. bleah.. argue with me if u disagree.. =P and that caused her to did all the stupid acts that she thought would make jiajun dislike kaixin but she never did thought of the serious consequences.. she thought that by doing so, she will have the chance to be closer to jiajun.. it is her thoughts and emotions that is conquering her.. furthermore, she had the mentality that love is more important and will go all the way to get it.. (*note: i also have such mentality..but no worries,i am not that over...wahaha.. and i doubt i even have the mei li (charm) to get it..*sad* at least i am not as pretty/popular as she is...)

lame.
haha..i am getting lamer by the day.. hehe.. bo pian.. with janice and xiaojia, sure become lame one.. haha.. i think i am in fact the joker of the three of us.. haha.. anyway, yah,we all agreed that there was this shuai ge... haha.. i think all of you cant stand me le rite?? everyday must talk about him and yet not disclose his name.. haha.. okok, i shall tell you his name, coz i doubt he would ever read this.. hehe..

so......

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his name is........

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haha... i am trying to lengthen my stuff...mai guan zi...(*note:i think i am also being a bit (ok, alot) lame here...bleah..)

weeloon..

yeah,finally,haha.. so yesterday as we went to crash econs class as we are very very very confused about the previous lesson.. [*note: i had it on friday.. ok,i am confused not because the lecturer was no good.. but because i am in the same class as him.. hahaha.. so was pretty much distracted and was also busy sms-ing xiaojia who happily sat in the train to jurong east when she was already late for class... anyway, hers doesn't matter coz it is maths.. and i think she couldnt care less also.. bleah.. we are so bad to our maths teachers.. hai~~ anyway, he wasnt sitting beside me but near me, couldnt imagine what will happen if he is sitting beside me, i would have been busy looking at him instead of listening to class.. wahaha.. that's what janice said.. bleah.. :P i wont la.. class more important... yeah,if i still cant catch up in class, i can go crash the saturday class alr..but it would be a waste of $$$---coz of transport fees..] ok,back to yesterday... he also crashed the econs lessons with us.. argh~~and he talked to me.. wahaha..

ok, so here is a brief idea what happened that he talked to me.. one of his friends smsed me to get janice's number, so i didnt give him la and didnt even reply him coz deleted his number alr.. anyway,janice attached le.. you guys, better dun tell lionel.. he will be damn jealous sia.. anyway, yah, so he asked me why i so dao never replied him (his friend)? haha.. why would i bother to reply someone who i dun even noe how he look like... and one more thing, he also never reply me when i asked him to,right?? haha.. so i am doing the same thing to his friend.. wahaha.. dun wanna waste my sms also... hehe.. haha.. so happy we actually talked.. was grinning all the way i guess (ok,i am exaggerating) but at least for the second time i went to the lecture,i finally got what i didnt understand.. yeah~~ goodie... hehe i sound like a kid.. bleah..

my expression tells my feelings.
good? or not good? some said it is good.. coz they will know what i feel, which is not very true.. haha.. but at least they know when i am angry or not very happy.. haha.. not good, coz i showed everything i felt.. which means that i am actually throwing a temper according to them.. so i gotta control, be happy so that i smile and keep all the sadness,anger, jealousy and pain within myself.. just keep it to myself and not show it to anyone else... some even feared me for what i felt.. i must have looked very horrible when i was angry or sad.. haha.. er ge once said that i wasn't cheerful enough.. haha... that's why i didn't attract any guys..haha..

perhaps.......

perhaps...

perhaps

but how to be cheerful when there are no cheerful things around me happening?? the huang na's death in singapore.. the terrorist attack all over the world.. the taiwan issue.. etc.. hai~~ and all the good things arent happening around me.. i am sad.. so what is the point of keeping a cheerful smile plastered on my face?? for what purposes??? no point, no point... hai~~ i think i wont attract any guys.. so i think i am going to be a lao chu nu (old virgin) all my life.. sianz.. haha.. all alone in this big big world of love..