here i am again.. yeah.. i am slacking away when there is a test tml.. cool huh? wahaha.. that's me.. do i look like i am a hardworking girl who will spend all her time studying,mugging,studying mugging like mad? you want me to be like that?? dream on.. wahaha..

hmm.. i am bored.. that's why i am blogging.. i hate to mug.. it makes me wanna fall asleep.. haha..but i am supposed to study.. hai~~ why can't i dun have those superb memory where i can just remember everything i have seen???? hmm, that will be great sia.. the BEST!!! haha...wonder if there is such a person in the world.. *starts wondering*

was almost late for IR if sharon had not send me to school... thanks sharon!!! had a pretty good time in the International Relations class... yeah,started crapping with the two guys who sat in front of us.. ethan and shu zhi (sorri i forgot his name.. opps.. haha..) crapped that their girlfriends are the xiao zhang (principal) and xiao gong (cleaner) when sharon mentioned that ben's girlfriend is a teacher.. haha.. so crappy sia.. shu zhi even asked us to go check the NYGH website to look for his girlfriend who according to him is supposed to be a 29 year-old lady whose name is tan something something.. i forgot.. wahaha... anyway,quite obvious is fake one loh.. haha.. perhaps we will have free lunch.. coz we said that if fake,then he has to pay for our lunch.. wahaha.. free lunch.. hmm,not bad.. haha.. but i think sure dun have one la.. haha.. where got so good?? perhaps he will say we naive,even go and check.. haha.. the truth is,i did go and check.. wahaha.. reallie stupid right?but i dun care.. bleah.. :P

haha.. was talking to diana they all on msn.. chatting about my character.. hmm,i always know that i have a bad temper and stuff.. haha.. low self-esteem,no confidence.. hyper sensitive and super mood swings.. hai~~ i am reallie that bad huh? eh,anything else you wanna add on?? haha.. just comment at the chatterbox la.. i think i will be able to take it,so just say loh.. yeah,i might cry for a few days and my eyes go swollen.. but if you sincerely want to help me,just do it!!(sounds familiar ar? think it is the slogan for NIKE shoes.. wahaha..) yeah,for my sake do it.. haha.. i wanna improve myself..

self-esteem.self-confidence.
anyone know how to improve on that? haha.. tend to look down on myself.. weird huh? and i am not confident in myself,be it looks or body language and stuff.. i guess i am that weird.. for people who dunnoe me or see me at first,they will think that i am a jovious confident girl,always with a big wide smile.. no no,you are all wrong!!! i am not like that.. at least now i am not.. i am a weirdo.. i have all kinds of weird thinkings in my mind.. and don't you dare doubt me.. haha.. kinda pervertic rite? i mean i am not wad i seem to be..and people always think i am the guai guai ger who always listen to mummy.. yeah,i am but i can be rebellious too.. hai~ just can't stand the guai guai image.. i dunnoe what i wanna be.. i am LOST!! i am not who i want to be.. there are times when i dun want such a thing to happen and yet,i go do it.. what the hell is wrong with me? my emotions are getting control of me... aint i suppose to be sensible?? why should i doubt the words of my friends when i know they are just kidding and dun mean it? how can i make fun of people at times and not let people make fun of me? bad huh?i think i am bad..

a change is wad i need..

change me..

yes,change me....

i reallie need it..

perhaps i need a psychiatrist more..

and the irony is that i once hope to be one..

and now,i need it...

i need a change..

ps. dun tell me that i am good in certain things coz i dun think i will believe.. furthermore there are sure many people out there that are much much better than me..

pps. dun lie to me.. i have low self-confidence and you might make it worse..

ppps.bear me the sweet talks coz i cant take it..

pppps.perhaps you should let me zi sheng zi mie ba..wo wu yao ke jiu le.. spare yourself the agony of getting pissed off by me....it's not worth it..