been thinking a lot..a little too much in fact..much more than the times when i was in seondary sch and jc added together..all my taR-Los friends said so..even on icq and msn,my friends are able to sense that i was worried about the posting of results..and reallie indeed i was..kaijing who had almost the same grades as me,had received a "special conversation" with SMU about the Information Systems Management course(goin to the interview soon) and also a letter from NTU getting into the engineering course..

and i got nothing..no letter at all..i am frustrated..vexed..i am worried about my future..i see no light..all darkness..i was hoping to see a shiny star in this total darkness..but i couldn't..i only see more darkness..much more darkness,as if i have fallen into a deep deep pit..i am scared,very scared..and i believe i had every reason to be scare..coz i didn't fare well in my examination and yet,i didn't put any course that my result should bring me to..and reallie,i think i have no chance of getting into NUS,NTU or even SMU..and i didn't apply for other private universities..which i regretted..i also regretted not putting in engineering for both NTU and NUs..at least if i had put,it secured me a place in the university..better than landing in nowhere like me now..

my friends had tried to console me..even those students in the student care,those nice one had tried to be nice to me..consolin me..trying to cheer me up..some of my friends told me that if i got letter this week,it'll most likely be reject letters..so i hope and wish that i won't get the reject letter *pray hard* and that there is a last batch of letters to be sent out..*pray hard to get that batch of letters to be admitted into the universities* reallie hope that what they said is true..some even said that "no news is good news" but the more they consoled,the more i hear,the more fear i get..

reallie very very scared..very stressed...what if i can't get into any universities?and i would have wasted my 2 years in jc..what if?loads of what ifs?little answers..

however,if all comes to worst,i will apply for either SIM-RMIT university for some of their bachelor of science courses,for business admin..or maybe i will go find an admin job and work for around 1-2 years then go applie private uni for part-time education..but of course,it will be tougher and i would have less free-time of my own..with that,i will get an honours by the end of 3-4 years..given tha i worked hard..hahaz..which i think i would..won't wanna regret again..enough for me to regret once..for wadever which had so much impact on me..